Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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