We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
In America we eat man semen.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We need to get me chipped asap
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
