So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Unless my dick prospects improve this yearโs Halloween costume will include panties with โDTFโ written on them and a push up bra
Randomize