were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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