and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
