Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
