dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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