but the lizard people decide everything anyway
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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