I want to stick my p in your. b.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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