it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
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My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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