oh god the rape fog is back!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
