I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
