suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
