Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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