I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
