Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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