im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
