I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
