Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
