Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize