I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
