i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
