But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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