Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
