There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Let's get the cat blown out
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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