so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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