What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ladies don't puke and tell
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
