Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
