I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
