your thong is hanging out like whoa
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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