walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
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On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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