Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
