In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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