I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
