I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
