I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
