Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
