Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... http://tfl.nu/set0
  Replies (80) Good night (2779) Bad night (8183)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina http://tfl.nu/dlly
  Replies (28) Good night (1233) Bad night (3674)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist http://tfl.nu/xqx0
  Replies (16) Good night (1304) Bad night (4011)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life http://tfl.nu/vlqm
  Replies (48) Good night (5992) Bad night (2437)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv
  Replies (63) Good night (2878) Bad night (6020)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny http://tfl.nu/a88g
  Replies (17) Good night (6462) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house... http://tfl.nu/qa28
  Replies (4) Good night (3338) Bad night (1599)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone http://tfl.nu/gzqw
  Replies (13) Good night (4430) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up... (404): sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules http://tfl.nu/ozdh
  Replies (3) Good night (2956) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I love you more than champagne and correct grammar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I love you more than champagne and correct grammar http://tfl.nu/3165
  Replies (19) Good night (3806) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy. http://tfl.nu/qoag
  Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse http://tfl.nu/8kf4
  Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless http://tfl.nu/aa5s
  Replies (9) Good night (2398) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes. http://tfl.nu/8po9
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.

  (936): View more from Texas

  I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY. (936): I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating. http://tfl.nu/ukan
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (225)

Randomize