i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"