I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.