let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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