Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.