I heard we made out
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad