I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Success! We fucked roommates!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize