How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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