2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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