The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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