i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
