I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
