Christians are straight up FREAKS
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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