wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
