If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
