if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Still dying that you shit outside
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
