Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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