i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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