so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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