just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
