Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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