what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
