sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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