My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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