Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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