And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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