if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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