brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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