Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
