Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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