need another drink. this is the easiest way
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize