My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
