White coat. Heels.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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