so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who died my cat blue again?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
