Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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