I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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